Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4: 29
So, I got my heart broken again today. Yes, this is a daily occurrence if you were wondering. Word of advice: when friends are hurting, don't say anything to irritate them more. I don't care if your relationship has been built on knock knock jokes or the most sadistic, unsentimental kind of sarcasm. DO NOT joke around with someone who is already pissed off. It only ends it hurtful words, or better yet, unsaid kind words. Today was a prime example of that in my life. My friend was already upset about something and going into a withdrawn mode and I said some things I should not have said. They weren't even funny things, they were serious things. But apparently there was some unspoken conversation that was taking place where they felt I was putting words into their mouth, which I absolutely wasn't, and it made them become even more withdrawn. And then I started to think that I was doing something wrong (which maybe in a way I was) and I took it personally. It was messy and we ended on a bad note. Granted, things are better now, but it was really messy for a while. And I want to encourage you -- if someone is hurting you, do not shut your mouth and take it with a smile. I am a victim of this EVERY SINGLE DAY, I beat myself up over the stupidest things because I think I deserve the pain, but I have learned it has to be a conscious effort. You have to step out of your comfort zone and confront people about hurting you when you would not have even dreamed of doing that before. There comes a time when you have to stop being a doormat and you have to view yourself as what you are -- a human being with feelings and emotions and wounds. And if you are viewed as anything less, it is not right.
I put my heart on the line everyday and I have to learn to guard it more. God's Word tells us that we are to guard it because it is the well spring of life. I do not want to damage my water supply. Why would I want to do that? I want to be as healthy (in life AND in Christ) as possible. And demeaning myself is no way to get there.
One step closer to where I need to be? Absolutely.
Also understand this -- that no matter how painful a situation may be, God is working it for your good. No matter how hopeless, helpless, painful or scary a situation seems... God is STILL doing it for YOUR good. He has your best interests at heart even when it doesn't seem like it. Like with my situation today -- I am SO GRATEFUL that it happened. It was so painful and I never, ever want to relive it -- BUT -- God revealed more of my friend to me through this painful experience. I feel like I am one step closer to cutting even the smallest hole in this brick wall they have built between themselves and all of humanity and that would never have happened had I not seen this side of them. I am confident that this was for my good, I SAW it work for my good, and you know what? This is only a taste of the amazing things God is going to do for the rest of my life.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,j]">[j] whok]">[k] have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8: 28